Friends?

When Drew tells me there is one thing he desperately wants for me, I listen. "Friends," he says. Friends that I love more than they love me. Friends in whom to invest and inspire. Woman willing to share open hearts in humility and trust.

In my defense, I have reached out. In fact, I have several friends. But good, deep friendships? I may need to get over my severe distaste for telephone conversations. I may need to think outside of myself, dig into others' lives and give a damn. It is one thing to care, another to take action. This is the introvert's struggle. Extroverts - like my husband - need only think something and they have said and done it. I, an introvert and a perfectionist, think about something, and think again and again and again, and rehearse a phone conversation, and get stressed out when it doesn't go as planned. This is not an excuse, but a simple awareness. It's selfish, really, to be more concerned with how I am perceived than with my friends' thoughts and feelings.

In other news, it is nearing time to relinquish my daughter into the arms of a babysitter for one day each week. Eight hours, Becca will spend with another adult. This is good and healthy for her development, and surprisingly scary for me. We have had to discern what our priorities in child-rearing are and voiced them to potential caregivers. We have had to weigh cost vs. benefit of one person over another of location, personality, their children's personalities... It's difficult!

We are incredibly blessed that Drew and I can spend 6/7 days a week with Becca. I am looking forward to Drew spending an entire day alone with his daughter during these formative years. Becca will know us - both of us - and have confidence sharing her heart with either of us as she grows.

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